ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize