So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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