i barfeds in our rink
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
