I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
