Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
