Since when is my name a synonym for head?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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