pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
