just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
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