From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
