cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
