conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
