cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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