She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
