how can u be prego again
If that was your dad, he is hot
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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