dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
