I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
