I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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