you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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