I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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