There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
