i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize