big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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