You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My feet surprised me
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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