Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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