WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
