Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
