God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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