everyone is single if you try hard enough
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
