it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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