Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
