i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
