Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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