So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
