When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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