Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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