if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
