that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
