During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize