I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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