I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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