he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
