She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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