i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
