I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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