dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We had to coat check the pizza.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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