I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
