hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
