Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
