I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
