I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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