is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
