we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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