i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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