Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
