can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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