Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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