It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
