so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
