Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
