some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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